Sailing Bullying - What Would You Do?

#21
I'm sure this will ruffle some feathers, but I can't let this one go...
I'm not a member of the Dallas fleet in question, but I can say from experience that I haven't met a bunch of better people. They are great, and have invited me to join them to race with them any time. Your description of them being bullies is about as far from the truth as you can get...

Heck, I was even invited over to their fleet kick off party this Winter! Now, if that's a bunch of a-holes. I would like to find more jerks like that to join MY yacht club.

I would also like to point out two things with this post...

1. This is probably the most inappropriate place that I can think of to air dirty laundry. Mrs. P, you are coming at this from one point of view, and a biased one I might add. I'm sure this post was well intentioned; however, it will do nothing but create even more hard feelings. Trust me, I've learned the hard way that doing something like this just makes you look petty. If your husband's goal is to re-join the fleet, name calling in a public form does you no good. Just a suggestion, but maybe he should sit down and have a beer with the leaders of the fleet and air their differences like civilized adults.

2. I don't know you, but I do know your husband. As far as I'm concerned, he's a nice guy and an excellent sailor. How things got so south with the Dallas Laser group is not my business. However, off the top of my head, there are six to seven other yacht clubs in the area that would be more than happy to welcome your husband as a member. Many have smaller groups racing Lasers (FWBC, AYC, GSC, and RCYC to name a few) If there is that level of animosity between your family and the Dallas fleet (and you are either unwilling or unable to sit down like adults), I would suggest moving to another club, or as I've seen your husband at some regattas, sail in an alternate fleet.

Just my two cents.

Jack Hattendorf (just so no one thinks I'm not willing to put my name to my opinion)…

 
#23
From the blog in question...

All summer, every Wednesday evening around 6ish in Lasers on White Rock Lake, but not on the Laser course. They're "racing."

Everyone is welcome, no conditions or restrictions. We'll work on whatever you want to work on. Pam wants to work on boat handling so that's where we'll start but if there is something else you want to work on, just name it.

We'll also be practicing something that is unsafe on virtually all other lakes - night sailing. It will help you get a better feeling for your boat, such as how to get more lift from your centerboard ... very fast!
Look for sail number 195708. That's the mentor. And no matter what that girl sailing 149482 says, don't listen to her. How she manages to stay upright most of the time is a combination of mystery and miracle.

Now, Mrs. P. If you are trying to win friends. This is not the way to do it...

JH
 
Thread starter #24
Monkey_feet: Good suggestions and good observations. Multiple attempts have been made through the years to solve this most puzzling situation in a private and civilized manner. No success. When those doors were all closed, I simply wanted a different perspective and suggestions and I believe we've received it.

By the way, Mr. P's goal is no longer to rejoin the fleet. It's to help the members he's seen sailing that don't appear to be getting the mentoring they need. And, if we're honest, when the fleet memebers are good and mad at him, they gang up against him on the race course and try to make his life unpleasant, and being the true Laser sailor he is, he just can't help himself ... he likes it!

So posting was a no lose option with the added potential of scaring up a little competition. Embrace it! That's why you sail a Laser isn't it?
 
#25
"So posting was a no lose option with the added potential of scaring up a little competition. Embrace it! That's why you sail a Laser isn't it?"

No, not really. Trying to break up fleets because of a feud is not my idea of Corinthian sailing...

By scheduling races and training sessions (and trying to peel off Dallas fleet members) on the same day at the same time the Dallas fleet races, you are doing just that.
 
Thread starter #26
And no matter what that girl sailing 149482 says, don't listen to her. How she manages to stay upright most of the time is a combination of mystery and miracle.

Clarification for those who didn't get the joke on the invitation posted on the blog ... 149482 is the well known old sail number of Mr. P. He's given away so many sails that the number can be seen on many lakes but the one being referred to is on his spare parts boat which is being sailed by me, Mrs. P. I train on the Laser, but I don't compete on it (at least not well). But maybe the offense was that I downplayed my sailing competence when I still managed to beat a few local sailors at the most recent event. Pure luck, I assure you.
 
Thread starter #28
By scheduling races and training sessions (and trying to peel off Dallas fleet members) on the same day at the same time the Dallas fleet races, you are doing just that.
Convenience ... take a few minutes to do some tuning on one part of the lake and then go race. Same night, same time. Easy for everyone. Why do you keep seeing devils around every corner? Some people just want to sail.
 
#30
Not seeing devils, just have been there done that...

Sailing with my fellow Laser buddies is all I plan to do. Like I said, not going to get into the middle of this, but I strongly feel that you are miss-characterizing the Dallas Laser Fleet. They are a great group, and don't deserve to be accused of being bullies or unreasonable. I've been racing with some of them in other fleets for over 15 years, and I've never had a cross word with any of them.

They have been nothing but supportive of helping our fledgling group get rolling to the tune of coming over to my club with 10 boats last year for our first ever Laser regatta (I believe that your husband was racing a Fish in that one). I only had one instance of bullying... When one of the fleet members told me that I owed him a beer for being nice enough to loan a class legal sail to an AYCer that didn't have one.

It's my hope that you can work things out, but if you can't, I just hope that it doesn't get vindictive (as I've seen happen more than once).

JH
 
#32
Tillerman, can't find your blog. Did you get banned too?
OMG. I think I've been deleted. My blog is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired. It's a stiff. Bereft of life. It rests in peace. It's kicked the bucket. It's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding' choir invisible. It's an ex-blog!!
 
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