Merry Christmas from Redneck Land!!!

[Cactus Cowboy]

I stopped at our Dollar General store yesterday to pick up a foil roasting pan for my 18-lb. turkey (okay, 17.75 lbs., close enough to round upward), and when I exited the store, foil pan in hand, there was Santa's sleigh parked near 'The Mighty Camry!!!' So I snapped a few pics of Santa's rig... the reindeer must have been disgruntled at the sight of cattle horns on the hood, but meh, they'll get over it. I like the friggin' air horns, they add a classy touch and help clear the road when Santa is in a big ol' hurry... the .44 strapped to his leather belt also helps in that department, LOL. Those are probably train horns, knowing these rednecks in Cochise County... moi, I'd have the submarine number, "AH-WOOOOOO-GUH!!!"

Here's Santa's sleigh, as seen in the Dollar General lot yesterday... maybe Santa was picking up a foil roasting pan for Mrs. Claus. Maybe a case of cheap domestic beer, who the hell really knows?

And here's a shot of the classic pirate T-shirt which I bought in Westport, WA, a hardcore fishing village out on the coast... I always get positive feedback when I wear this shirt around town, even though there ain't much fishing to be had in the high desert, LOL. Meh, no worries, I still wear the shirt, it'll work when I get my drank on, LOL. Round here, it qualifies as Christmas attire, don'tcha know? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Damn. Alright, I'm back to my cold beer and maybe a movie, I'm all set for cooking the roast turkey manana, it'll be downright delicious!

Here's a pic of the kittehs enjoying a break on top of the 8' pool table, those knucklehaids are all inside because it's kinda chilly outside today, and I have the heater cranked, LOL. The blasted varmints!!! Meh, tomorrow they'll be macking a big ol' plate of turkey with homemade gravy, I always share my holiday meals with the kids!!! CHEERS!!!

HASTA LUEGO, F#%TARDS!!! ER, I MEAN YOUSE NAUTICAL HEE-ROES!!! REMEMBER, DON'T DRINK & DRIVE, UNLESS YOU WANT A JAIL TERM AS A PRESENT!!! LOL...

Edit: Wait, for those of you who INSIST upon drinking & driving, here's another CLASSIC T-shirt I bought in coastal Washington, it shows your accommodations for the evening, LOL.

And a bonus shot of a vanity plate seen on a redneck rig in the WallyWorld lot today... had to go back and buy some cranberry sauce for tomorrow's meal, as the sauce didn't make the list yesterday. Meh, no worries, these things happen, and I attribute 'em to CRS, or maybe Alzheimer's, LOL.

ALRIGHT, HEE-ROES, I'M OFF FOR A JOLLY CHRISTMAS EVE!!! PLENTY O' BEER IN THE FRIDGE, AND SOME GOOD GRINDS WAITING...

 

[Cactus Cowboy]

Awww, nobody in the Christmas Spirit... meh, it has been that kinda year, LOL. Moi, I've been toiling away in the kitchen, now that big ol' bird is in the oven and the mess of dishes is all cleaned up, so I'm cracking a cold beer and chillaxing before I grab a shower. I've had the Christmas carols & lights going since early morning, and of course I'm talking Redneck Christmas Carols... my favorite so far has been that one that goes, "CHRISTMAS EVE, I DREAMED THAT SANTA GOT ARRESTED..." Dunno who sings that song, but it's funnier than $h!t, I was laughin' while preppin' the bird, LOL. Last night, I went more with the traditional carols, but today it has been Redneck Christmas all the way... [cue the Maxwell Smart line]... "AND LOVIN' IT!!!"

I'm thinking some rum & eggnog might be tasty later, depends upon whether I stay in beer mode or not... I have at least three hours before the bird is done, so I'm in no particular hurry. I'm really diggin' the redneck twang of these Cowboy Christmas Carols, our local station is doing a good job this morning, playing the classics, LOL. The station claims to be the most powerful radio station in Cochise County... probably because it's the ONLY station in Cochise County, LOL. Meh, we get a few Mexican stations too, but I have to be pretty goldurned drunk to listen to those tunes... I did actually hear the one Mexican tune, "MAMACITA, DONDE ESTA SANTA?!?" Yeah, that's a regular traditional Christmas carol in MY home, LOL.

Well, I'm back to my cold beer & Christmas carols... lookin' at a hot shower here pronto, now that the work is all done. After that, it'll be a whole new day, same way it was in my 'trucking daze'---what a difference a good hot shower makes, LOL. Might hafta find some Christmas movie to watch, some sort of Western Christmas flick, with horses and cowgirls and whatnot... I remember those cowgirls in Show Low, they looked mighty fine in the rodeo and the 4th of July parade! All that Western finery is awesome, and that attire ain't cheap either... all those silver conchos add up, LOL. And the tack? Holy Cow!!! Trust this cheap b@stard to notice things like that, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Meh, today the cats & I will eat like kings, and celebrate Christmas the way it should be celebrated...

OH, MAN, MY HOME IS ALREADY STARTING TO SMELL PRETTY DAMNED GOOD, WITH THE COOKING AROMAS GOING OFF... GOTTA LOVE THE HOLIDAYS!!! Y'ALL ENJOY YOUR CHRISTMAS DAY, I KNOW I WILL... AND SO WILL THE KITTEHS!!! CHEERS!!!

HEY, IF SANTA GETS ARRESTED IN YOUR COUNTY & THE JUDGE DOESN'T LET HIM SLIDE, DON'T FORGET TO BAIL HIM OUT, LOL...

 

[Cactus Cowboy]

0315 snack, a plate piled high with turkey, stuffing from the bird, homemade gravy, and cranberry sauce on the side... damn, the plate was STACKED, and I just demolished it, LOL. Well, almost... I left some scraps for the cats, even though they already macked a plateful of turkey with gravy. That Tiger, boy, he'll eat his weight in turkey, and he's no small cat either, LOL. Phoenix likes the bird too, but Crackhead wasn't that hungry, he'll catch up later. I'm crawlin' back to bed with a full stomach, probably be snoozin' in no time... I hope Fathead turns up, because it's freezing outside, he needs to learn to get indoors at night, especially in coyote country. We'll see if he shows, the poor ol' cat, he should be indoors where it's warm.

 

[Cactus Cowboy]

Fathead eventually turned up this morning, he's the cat who recently "adopted" us after some wanker abandoned him and moved away. Fathead macked a big ol' plate o' turkey with gravy on top, then took off for parts unknown... usually he takes a nap after eating, but he was in a hurry today, maybe he had a hot date, who knows? At least he has enough insulation (i.e. fat) on him now, he was looking pretty scruffy two months ago, but I've been feeding him regularly... now he looks like a walrus or a friggin' elephant seal, LOL.

Thought about going to the Stronghold today, sun shining and all, but I hurt my ankle on that last job and it's slowly getting better... best not to aggravate it by hiking & climbing, or even boulder scrambling atop those huge granite outcrops. Better let it heal up a bit more, so I don't go into the New Year on the D/L (or Disabled List). No future in that... but the Stronghold looks very inviting today, all those crags, domes & spires just gleaming in the sun, LOL. Meh, it's not going anywhere, not in MY lifetime anyway, so I'll save the recon for another day.

Every time I go out there on a new recon, I find another piece o' paradise on earth... last time, I found a primo trail along some riparian woodland, with the broadleaf trees all turning color in the fall. Very beautiful spot, but then the whole complex is full of natural beauty... wildlife too, including deer, elk, mountain lion, bears (supposedly, I've yet to see one), all sorts of critters out there. Some of the peaks in the Dragoons rise above 7000' elevation, while nearby ranges go even higher... Miller Peak by Sierra Vista is something like 9500', and Mt. Graham rises to 10,720', no small mountain in anybody's book.

Well, guess I'd better get cleaned up and do a load of laundry, that shirt I was wearing when I macked at 0315 has food stains on it (gasp!), and it has been about a week since I washed the flannel sheets. Those flannel sheets come in handy on these cold nights... already, we've had about a month of days with ice in the birdbath, though not all days were consecutive. I reckon it'll be a long cold winter, since we had a long hot summer, and virtually no spring or fall this year. Only a couple weeks of spring & fall, when we normally have 2-3 months for each season. Meh, I'll be glad just to see this year out... and good riddance, LOL.

I'M OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD... THAT CHUMP STILL OWES ME $100, AND I INTEND TO COLLECT. PROBLEM IS, HE KEEPS VANISHING EVERY TIME I BRING UP THE DEBT... THE SLIPPERY B@STARD!!! MAYBE I SHOULD TRY HURLING A CARGO NET HIS WAY WHEN HE'S NOT LOOKING...

 

[Cactus Cowboy]

Man, oh man, that shower felt good... before I go watch a movie, I wanna throw down these three links to good times had while trucking back in the day, cruising in my 40-ton land yacht that went 90 m.p.h., LOL.

Meh, what's Christmas without a few presents? And here are three of 'em, specially gift-wrapped for youse nautical hee-roes, LOL. Several glimpses back into that separate reality known as OTR (or Over-The-Road) truck driving, a.k.a. "long-haul trucking."

Before all the ridiculous satcomm tracking started, a solo hand could have a blast in a powerful truck with a big ol' double-bunk sleeper... the tractor alone qualified as a 10-ton RV, LOL. Ah, yes, those were truly "the good ol' days"---now, the industry has gone downhill, but I'm still glad I went trucking when I did.

sandiegoreader.com/weblogs/tales-adventure/2011/feb/27/mohawk-mountain-madness/

sandiegoreader.com/weblogs/tales-adventure/2011/feb/26/triple-treat-i-aint-talkin-baskin-robbins/

sandiegoreader.com/weblogs/tales-adventure/2011/feb/28/affirmative-action-on-the-san-rafael-swell/

Yesiree, I had some good times in those days... that Memorial Day Weekend jaunt in 1999 still holds the record for burning company fuel while f#%ng off, I put around 358 miles on the odometer just goofing off and having fun, LOL. Couldn't do that nowadays without getting fired, I reckon...

But it was a BLAST, thundering down that deserted stretch of highway in West Texas at 90 m.p.h., fully rigged for recreation and knowing that I was gonna have a good time all weekend. Like a free vacation thrown in for good measure, atop my job which was already like vacation in those days, LOL.

AH, WELL, ENJOY THE STORIES, I'M JUST GLAD I WENT TRUCKING WHEN I DID AND SAW THE COUNTRY BEFORE IT WENT SOUTH, LOL...