Skipper Johnson
New Member
Hello all.
I have just bought a Laser and joined a local club. I thought you might like to follow my progress from novice to Olympic sailor. Cheers!
My first race looms, but first have to help my Dad move houses. The dutiful son, helps with the move, all the time keeping an eye on the clock knowing the big debut race is to
begin at 1:30pm.
Thoughts cross my mind. Perhaps I have some amazing racing skill that has been dormant for years and is about to be exposed. Maybe, I'm so good that I will be in the the Olympics after discovering this incredible skill. Who knows?
Soon I will have answers to my many questions.
I arrive at the race club later than I would have liked and am now rushing around like a chook with its head cut-off. I need to sign in and the master of ceremonies (I'm sure he has a nautical name) explains the course.
You round A C D E bouys, A and C to Port and D and E to Starboard then, A to C and D to E and repeat this three times. I nod, yes understood Captain. At this stage I revert to plan B, I will follow the first boat around the course and fly past him at the finish to claim victory.
Now I have 45 minutes to rig the boat and get to the start line. Better hurry. Now, Im sure Im meant to tie this with a bowline, the mouse goes through the hole, round the tree...or is that a rabbit...and where's the bloody tree! Surely a reef knot will suffice...Yeh, bowline my arse.
Now, all the other boats have left the shore...better go. Launch the boat and get underway. Sailing down to the start line, I hear a baaaarp. What's that?
Oh, the starting gun, boats are heading towards me...OK, revert to plan C. Obviously I will be last to start with, but my incredible latent skill will see me work my way through the field and my win will be even more meritorious.
I cross the start line and hear the woman in the safety boat yell to me "meat the vain...meat the vain" What the hell is she talking about? "What", I yell. "CLEAT THE MAIN"..Oh yes, I was going to cleat the main, but not right now...OK, now, time to cleat the main.Yuh? main wont cleat...what the?...Im sure Ive cleated the main before...Oh well, I'll just
hold it...jeez, my arm is getting tired.
I have my eyes set on the last boat..Im catching and actually over taking them...OK, one down, 19 to go..
I round the first mark, in 19th place...come on boat, you seem a bit sluggish and jeez my arm is sore, why cant I cleat this friggin main. As I approach the second bouy I realise a gybe is required. The olde gybe. I read in my "Laser Racing to win" book this week, that this can lead to a death
roll if not executed correctly. I don't like the sound of a death roll, it seems to involve both rolling and death, not a good combination.
Anyway, here goes...turn the tiller, sheet in the main....and.....yep, death roll...that's not good. Boat in water, me in water...rudder has come out...(ah hah, that's what that little pin was for!)
OK, you need to put rudder in before you get the boat up right...otherwise you will be sailing around in circles and this will not help. Bobbing up and down I finally get the rudder in, get the boat back upright and clamber
aboard. OK, I have slipped back to 20th, all the better for an even more glorious victory.
Around the next bouy..figure out the cleating problem..the rope is meant to go around another ratchet. Freak! Have to undo rope and re do it on the water. It's working now. OK, time to really make my move.
My mind now wanders to the next issue...How come, the boat seems low in the water? That looks strange. When things look strange in a yacht, it is not usually a good sign. It then dawns on me. Plug, did you put the plug in? You know, the one that stops the boat filling with water and sinking. That plug
that every manual says..point 1...DO NOT FORGET THE PLUG...Let me just look...Nope. No plug. I am plugless. No plug at all. Zero.
I now go to Plan D. Get the boat friggin to land, before the friggin boat sinks to the bottom of the friggin lake and your wife doesnt ever friggin talk to you again and all the friggin yacht club members remember you as that friggin dope who on their first race sank their friggin boat.
Finally, get boat to land. Next issue. Water is heavy. Water is in boat. Boat is now heavy. Too heavy to get on trailer. Spectator..."do you need a hand..."
"Geez, I didn't know Laser's were so heavy!" says spectator...Yeh...Um...No, I mumble in reply.
Finally get boat on trailer and water begins to pour out of the plug hole.
Race result: DNF.. Did Not Finish.
The only way is up! Stand by for RACE 2 in my road to glory!
I have just bought a Laser and joined a local club. I thought you might like to follow my progress from novice to Olympic sailor. Cheers!
My first race looms, but first have to help my Dad move houses. The dutiful son, helps with the move, all the time keeping an eye on the clock knowing the big debut race is to
begin at 1:30pm.
Thoughts cross my mind. Perhaps I have some amazing racing skill that has been dormant for years and is about to be exposed. Maybe, I'm so good that I will be in the the Olympics after discovering this incredible skill. Who knows?
Soon I will have answers to my many questions.
I arrive at the race club later than I would have liked and am now rushing around like a chook with its head cut-off. I need to sign in and the master of ceremonies (I'm sure he has a nautical name) explains the course.
You round A C D E bouys, A and C to Port and D and E to Starboard then, A to C and D to E and repeat this three times. I nod, yes understood Captain. At this stage I revert to plan B, I will follow the first boat around the course and fly past him at the finish to claim victory.
Now I have 45 minutes to rig the boat and get to the start line. Better hurry. Now, Im sure Im meant to tie this with a bowline, the mouse goes through the hole, round the tree...or is that a rabbit...and where's the bloody tree! Surely a reef knot will suffice...Yeh, bowline my arse.
Now, all the other boats have left the shore...better go. Launch the boat and get underway. Sailing down to the start line, I hear a baaaarp. What's that?
Oh, the starting gun, boats are heading towards me...OK, revert to plan C. Obviously I will be last to start with, but my incredible latent skill will see me work my way through the field and my win will be even more meritorious.
I cross the start line and hear the woman in the safety boat yell to me "meat the vain...meat the vain" What the hell is she talking about? "What", I yell. "CLEAT THE MAIN"..Oh yes, I was going to cleat the main, but not right now...OK, now, time to cleat the main.Yuh? main wont cleat...what the?...Im sure Ive cleated the main before...Oh well, I'll just
hold it...jeez, my arm is getting tired.
I have my eyes set on the last boat..Im catching and actually over taking them...OK, one down, 19 to go..
I round the first mark, in 19th place...come on boat, you seem a bit sluggish and jeez my arm is sore, why cant I cleat this friggin main. As I approach the second bouy I realise a gybe is required. The olde gybe. I read in my "Laser Racing to win" book this week, that this can lead to a death
roll if not executed correctly. I don't like the sound of a death roll, it seems to involve both rolling and death, not a good combination.
Anyway, here goes...turn the tiller, sheet in the main....and.....yep, death roll...that's not good. Boat in water, me in water...rudder has come out...(ah hah, that's what that little pin was for!)
OK, you need to put rudder in before you get the boat up right...otherwise you will be sailing around in circles and this will not help. Bobbing up and down I finally get the rudder in, get the boat back upright and clamber
aboard. OK, I have slipped back to 20th, all the better for an even more glorious victory.
Around the next bouy..figure out the cleating problem..the rope is meant to go around another ratchet. Freak! Have to undo rope and re do it on the water. It's working now. OK, time to really make my move.
My mind now wanders to the next issue...How come, the boat seems low in the water? That looks strange. When things look strange in a yacht, it is not usually a good sign. It then dawns on me. Plug, did you put the plug in? You know, the one that stops the boat filling with water and sinking. That plug
that every manual says..point 1...DO NOT FORGET THE PLUG...Let me just look...Nope. No plug. I am plugless. No plug at all. Zero.
I now go to Plan D. Get the boat friggin to land, before the friggin boat sinks to the bottom of the friggin lake and your wife doesnt ever friggin talk to you again and all the friggin yacht club members remember you as that friggin dope who on their first race sank their friggin boat.
Finally, get boat to land. Next issue. Water is heavy. Water is in boat. Boat is now heavy. Too heavy to get on trailer. Spectator..."do you need a hand..."
"Geez, I didn't know Laser's were so heavy!" says spectator...Yeh...Um...No, I mumble in reply.
Finally get boat on trailer and water begins to pour out of the plug hole.
Race result: DNF.. Did Not Finish.
The only way is up! Stand by for RACE 2 in my road to glory!
Nice to meet another aussie here too.