Downwind run to Jupiter, Saturn or Neptune

Ghost Rider

Planing into eternity...
Been thinking about a downwind run from Earth to one of the outer planets mentioned, using solar winds for propulsion and rigging some sort of magnetic field aboard the boat for safety's sake, AYE??? Could use the help of specialists in magnetic fields, regenerative O/CO2 systems, "toilet-to-tap" H2O recovery, the whole nine yards... rich gals whose families own liquor store chains would also come in handy, I'm thinkin' there won't be too many liquor stores out there in the farther reaches of our solar system. Better load the boat with enough to kill everyone on board over a number of decades, and bring a "moonshine specialist" as well to make booze out of funky space mold, teeming colonies of bacteria, and old socks which haven't been washed in at least a fortnight, 10-4??? :confused:

Gee, since we're talking about riding the solar winds, perhaps we ought to have a solar power specialist too, someone who can rig heller power production using empty beer cans & booze bottles, aluminum foil, baling wire, zip-ties & duct tape, YA THANK??? Yeah, that might prove to be useful... and we can bring a magnifying glass to start fires and get the BBQ going, WOOHOO!!! Better lay in a large supply of sunscreen while we're at it, the solar abuse might get ROUGH out there despite the increased distance from our local star. Gotta watch that solar abuse, malignant melanoma is no joke... operators are standing by to accept your donations in combating this horrible disease, LOL. Leprosy has NOTHIN' on it, that malignant melanoma is FIERCE, I tell ya. Which reminds me, we might need some medical personnel aboard this outbound boat... if only to pull the trigger. ;)

ANYBODY INTERESTED IN MAKING THIS ONE-WAY VOYAGE, HOLLER BACK WITH YOUR BLOOD TYPE AND ANY CANNIBAL RECIPES YOU MIGHT HAVE IN YOUR POSSESSION, AYE??? :eek:

"CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST" & "THE GREEN INFERNO" GOTS NOTHIN' ON THIS TRIP, LEMME TELL YA... :rolleyes:

CHEERS, YOUSE NAUTICAL HEE-ROES!!! HAPPY TRAILS, GOOD SAILING, & BON VOYAGE!!! :cool:
 
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Oh, yeah, if you've ever read "FARMER IN THE SKY" by Heinlein, that is EXACTLY what we're shooting for with this voyage, AYE??? Published in 1950, that book was WAY ahead of its time... kinda like "FORBIDDEN PLANET" in the film industry, that flick was also WAY ahead of its time. Meh, you'll eventually figure it out, unless this planet goes the way of the dinosaur before ya gets the chance, LOL. :confused:
 
Hmm, no takers, and I just won the freakin' lottery, there are two dozen Vegas Hookers aboard SS (Solar System) Laser #2069, and we're ready to depart... gonna use about 3000 tennis ball cannons from WallyWorld to boost the ship into orbit, AYE??? Might hafta toss some plastique into the mix, or good ol'-fashioned dynamite sticks straight out of a Sergio Leone spaghetti western... soundtrack by Ennio Morricone, of course, LOL. :cool:

Meh, my house just got listed on multiple realty websites, but due to demand I may hafta jack the price, 10-4??? Ain't no way some greaseball makes money off my back, or off my months of hard labor rehabbing the joint like I was slingin' pick & hammer in the goddam Yuma Territorial Prison, PFFFFFFT. Good thing I can still legally modify the home sale price in Arizona without any f#%ng hassle, this ain't quite the Socialist Republik of KaliMexiFornia... not yet, anyway. ;)

I gots no problem relocating once more and living in a lake home in Oklahoma, gnarly F5 twisters & hot humid summers be damned, LOL. At least there's a "lake effect" where the friggin' cyclones are concerned, tends to divert or derail twisters before they tear up your home, AYE??? Sure, there's such a thing as a waterspout, but those generally form over the ocean under entirely different conditions... or so I'm hopin', unless I need some hydro-blasting done on the palatial redneck rig. :rolleyes:

SHOULD I EAT HELLER CROW IN "THE SOONER" AFTER A WATERSPOUT HITS MY NEW LAKE HOME AND I GO FOR ONE HELLUVA BOAT RIDE, MEH, NO WORRIES... WON'T BE THE FIRST WILD BOAT RIDE I EVER TOOK. :confused:

AND MR. TOAD'S WILD TORNADIC RIDE WILL DAMNED SURE BEAT EATIN' THEM THAR VEGAS HOOKERS IN THE LATTER STAGES OF THE OUTBOUND VOYAGE THROUGH THE SOLAR SYSTEM, BBQ SAUCE OR NO BBQ SAUCE, "10-DASH-FO'???" :eek:

DAMN... I'VE SEEN TOO MUCH OF THE ROTTEN HUMAN RACE. :(

CHEERS, YOUSE NAUTICAL FOOLIOTS... ER, I MEAN YOUSE NAUTICAL HEE-ROES!!! :D
 
Well, I got GROPED by a female TSA worker prior to liftoff, despite the presence of all those Vegas Hookers, but it didn't bother me too much, since the TSA gal didn't look bad herself, LOL. Somehow her grip reminded me of hard Laser sailing off The Point (that would be Pt. Loma, San Diego), with the breeze howlin' like a goddam werewolf and stressed digits alternately beggin' for mercy and screamin' bloody murder, AYE??? Meh, sometimes one just has to MAN UP and deal with the circumstances... WTF, it sure beat being GROPED by an IRS tax collector any day of the week, and THAT'S NO LIE. :confused:
 

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